The Acts of The Lords of Rannick, LXXII

Ron mourns the loss of a beloved friend.

Okay so we left last week just when arteries were about to get opened…

Dagfinn stepped back out of the fight as Arradin and Tersplink both suffered seizures as the blood pressure on in their brains skyrocketed with the exertion. His Discord spell kept paying for itself as the giants turned to hack at each other. Bjormundal, the Frost Giant, (you know his name because Frost Giants won’t stop bellowing their titles and accomplishments in battle) turned and hacked three tree-felling strokes with his greataxe into the surprised Cloud Giant.

Kerplak, bereft of Vansaya and finally reading the rules on his Ring of Invisibility, unlimbered the Chainsword and rushed in to attempt to sneak attack (which he did) a Cloud Giant. However a few whacks with a Morning Star the size of a Smartcar and the gnome went down.

Halvard and Ron, having caught up to the group (in the nick of time, eh?) went to work. Halvard did a passable  impression of a Sorceror and spammed Searing Light and Flamestrike spells at any Cloud Giants stupid enough to stand close together. He then committed himself to the fight at the turning point and waded in with sword arcing.

This isn't Carl Von Clausewitz; this is Marty McSorley. But they'd both approve of Halvard's tactics.

Ron,  meanwhile, engaged Bjormundal and was having great success with his Axiomatic Quarterstaff, delivering a savage beating with both ends until the thing shattered into umpteen slivers of wood. Disconsolate in a way that only a monk could be for a broken quarterstaff, Ron watched as the Celestial Rhino charged the Frost Giant from behind, killstealing like he was a party member.

DING, bitches.

Ron then joined Dagfinn in the missile support role, as he filled the air with Shuriken, that somehow do non lethal damage. I’ve cut myself on some tin can lids before,so it is difficult to imagine how something designed to slice you to pieces does non-lethal damage, but it does. Maybe they’re horseshoes… Dagfinn was filling the air with arrows and if you keep doing that, eventually a bunch will go in people’s eyes. He was having some luck with this strategy too, but as the fight drew to a close, the last Cloud Giant played the song of his people and enveloped himself in a dense cloud and then set off running along the gold road.

Dagfinn gave chase on his Phantom Steed and kept firing arrows, which apparently he must have an unlimited supply of, given the wanton nature he shot them off into the far distance. Right? He isn’t Hank the Ranger (D&Deep Cut!).

Returning to the scene of the fight, Kerplak was revived and some healing spells/songs passed out. This much exertion this high up had already sent several of their party members to Grand Malville, so they decided to find somewhere to camp before their brains squeezed out their ears. After they had looted the bodies, of course.

Thinking back on it, this was a pretty swish cave. Cloud Giants have a treasure table of their own since they are fond of ostentatious displays of wealth. While the Frost Giants definitely come from the Open Faced Sandwich part of the world, your Cloud Giants are really more pita bread and tsatziki: it’s all togas and carefully curled beards. Anyway, in looting the cave, they found a Cave Bear cloak that was TO DIE FOR. Completely impractical, especially on human shoulders, which left part/most of this magnificent cloak dragging on the ground. Dagfinn took it. There was also some sensual oils and some giant cones of incense as well as a book of truly dire poetry. The Frost Giant had a few more practical items: a ring of Feather Falling, a nice Breastplate that no-one will want and a Greataxe that I don’t think anyone will want either. The potions of CSW, however, were squirreled away quickly.

You're reasonably certain it is a cave bear cloak. It could have been woven from the collected chest hair of those Cloud Giants, the Bbig brothers. (This is the second time in this campaign that I've named a group of adversaries after the Bee Gees, so I think that means there is something wrong with me.)

Halvard, it was, who found a safe gully in the mountains in which to rest. Comfortable, it was not, but given the danger of the vengeful Cloud Giant and a bunch of mates coming back to find them, it wasn’t a bad decision, just an uncomfortable and cold one.

In the morning, they fended off the chill and lack of breathing with some Phantom Steed spells and raced along the Gold Road in the direction that the giant had fled. After six solid hours of riding, the Gold Road curved through a narrow pass that lay at the head of an enormous valley in the mountains. Beneath them and many miles yet ahead, stood the fabled city of Xin Shalast. And that’s where we left them.

I’ll read you the description again, next game.

4 Comments on “The Acts of The Lords of Rannick, LXXII

  1. Last week we had a brief discussion about the various Casino Royal’s and which one came out before Dr. No. This has been bugging me so I looked it up. David Niven was in a spoof version of Casino Royal which came out in 1967. This also starred Woody Allen as “Jimmy Bond.” This movie is awful and not in a so awful it’s good way just regular awful. Some guy named Barry Nelson played Bond in TV version in 1954. He’s considered to be the first Bond on film. Interesting note: in the TV version Bond is an American and Felix Lieter is British. Nice move CBS.

  2. This epidemic of self-destructing magical weapons couldn’t come at a more infuriating time.

  3. And, can I just say that my original intention was for those shuriken to be RETURNING WINE BOTTLES, but you, David, talked me into shuriken being more economical. All I wanted was the extra d6 of nonlethal damage, but you said the extra enchantment wasn’t worth it since enchanting 50 shuriken once was so much cheaper. I thought it was dumb fluff-wise too.

  4. I kind of imagine tiny lead-rimmed frisbees… but since the non-lethal bonus is magical, it really doesn’t have to make sense…