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Posted on November 8, 2012
The Acts of the Lords of Rannick, LXXX
Okay, I liked that random dungeon, but I’m glad you are done with it. We have story to progress.
Having found the sai and some treasure in the sacrifice room, they decided to desecrate the desecrated altar, but turning it to flesh and then stabbing it or at least making the Unseen Servant stab it. The party left via the only other door and entered a small hallway in which there were more doors. The first one they opened contained a Mohrg and two Bearded Devils. The Bearded Devils (Barbazu) are not as dangerous as the Barbed Devils (Hamatula), but their names are confusing. Their special attack – I’m not kidding – is to grapple you and give you a rub with their beard. We had a janitor at our school who used to do that. His name was Bucketheid. Nice guy.
It never came to that, as the party continued to throw their considerable firepower at anything that challenged them, no matter how otherwise easy to defeat they were. So the Mohrg and the devils had little impact. The sound of combat drew a Lamia from her lair at the other end of the hallway and she rushed in with Mirror Image up and drained some of Halvard’s wisdom. A critical hit sent the dagger she was using out of her hand and Dagfinn retrieved it from combat. +1 Dagger, woo. Mirror Image was whittled down, and then she was killed too.
The room the devils were in must have contained something very explosive at one time or another, because the room looked like it had been blasted, but was otherwise unremarkable. On checking the Lamia’s quarters, that was another sarcophagus room that had been smashed up to provide a lovely nest for the Lamia. Since nobody wanted to carry a nest of shattered masonry around, they left that where it was.
The next small room off the hallway sounded like bubbling, so they treated it with the utmost caution. It turned out to be an ornamental fountain brimming with deadly dihydrogen monoxide, a mere spoonful sufficient to kill a man and one of the leading causes of death today. No joke, stay safe everyone.
However, the party observed proper safety precautions, such as not dipping Kerplak head first into it for four minutes. So they all survived. For now.
The last room on this hallway featured a carved, undedicated altar that featured scenes of combat and a rolled up slip of paper. Upon opening the slip of paper, Dagfinn was somewhat surprised to find Arradin Tyrylith written on it and then almost immediately crestfallen to think that no-one was writing his name down on slips of paper and leaving them in weird places in eerie ten-millenia-old basements. He hid his jealousy well.
Backing up some, they returned to the large room with an unopened door. The odour of rotten corpses was evident as Kerplak sniffed around the door for traps, so they cautiously proceeded. The long room was dominated by a pile of corpses; skulks and ogres stripped of any gear other than the broken blades sticking out of fatal wounds. There was a door off to another part of the complex and some levers on the walls. After some monkeying around with the levers, they caused part of the wall to drop flat beside them, apparently some sort of delivery system. After some more monkeying around, they sent the wall back into place, then lowered it again, this time with a Gelatinous Cube in the delivery system. The Cube was propelled off the mechanism and onto the pile of corpses, which it quickly began dissolving. A Wall Of Ice was erected and then Halvard spent two Flamestrikes killing the Cube from behind the wall.
Lamia are despicable half-bestial women… but let’s face it, you’d give this five minutes to see how things went.
Behind the unopened doors from this gruesome, but now slightly cleaner, chamber lay more rooms. One of which housed the other side of the Gelatinous Housekeeper delivery system, the other a smashed up room that was inexplicably well lit and filled with soft music, presumably for dungeon civilized tea time. Dagfinn and Kerplak set off a trap in the passage way that led off from it. The door locked shut behind them and the room flooded with water. However, it was no hardship to get the door’s locking mechanism deactivated and the door opened onto the rest of the party and the water poured out. This had sparked the interest of one last dungeon denizen, a Hamatula, who lay in wait for someone to approach, not realising Kerplak was right in front of him, but invisible. As the rest of the party caught up, the Hamatula caused Fear in Arradin and Halvard, sending both screaming for the exit. Tersplink, in an effort to keep them near cast Hideous Laughter spells at the fleeing melee specialists, preventing them from getting too far away by ensorcelling them in paroxysms of laughter.
Meanwhile a combination of Kerplak’s persistent Sneak Attacks, Dagfinn’s melee and the Hamatula’s inability to Hold Person or Order’s Wrath the Bard, sent the Hamatula back to the level of Hell from which he came. In that room they discovered vats of a bone coloured paint, that after several refreshing pints Kerplak declared as lead-based. Also a key.
The last room was some sort of tannery full of largely shitty hides, but most crucially the exit from this level. A portcullis guarded a short passage that led to a flight of stairs that led to sunlight. Also a keyhole in that portcullis. Halvard cast Embiggen on himself, some sort of divine spell that makes you stronger and attempted to lift the portcullis, but was hampered by fate itself. Sic Semper Haluardus. Kerplak unlocked it (actually harder now that Halvard had bent it a bit) and they all strolled through, although Halvard insisted on holding it up for everyone and allowing Cary Elwes and Princess Buttercup to make their escape.
Sneaking to the top of the stairs, the interior of this seven sided building was laid bare beneath the cold light that filtered through the crystal ceiling. A massive arena, lined with spectator stands lay before them and in the middle of it stood a Rune Giant, idly twirling a sword the length of a decent-sized fishing boat. Backing up, the party found the portcullis gone, replaced by a blank wall. They were trapped in the arena.
Dagfinn quickly cast some heavy Cure spells on everyone and they prepared to climb the stairs.
Okay, who has spells left for next time?
You’re lucky it wasn’t a Gelatinous Drop Cube.